Is it normal for someone to not want to get over their disorder?

That is VERY common. There is something about the illness that makes you feel safe - even if it's killing you. It is your safety zone. You know deep down that you need help and that if you don't appear sick - even though in reality you actually are - that you won't get the help you need. You need help and are scared of not having the illness and not getting help if left to your own devices. It's like me with drinking at a point in my life. Even when I didn't want to, I was SCARED to get better. So I drank anyway.